Prompt: a memory

How Could Anyone Forget?

Years ago Oprah was high in the news cycle over abuse
She all of the sudden remembered being abused as a child

I thought, “That poor lady is just starved for attention
How could you forget a thing like that?
No on could forget that not to say for decades and
Pop, it comes up out of nowhere.
Bull Shit, Opie.”

Last year while musing on my idyllic childhood
It dawned on me that those bloody marks on my backside
Left by the wire coat hanger that my dad swung at me
Was at the least abuse and more likely assault

But everybody spanked their kids in the 60s, right?
It took over forty years for me to realize that was
Beyond the pale

So I comforted myself with the memory of
My remarkable mother and mulled the thought of dad
Over and over until I saw a fellow
Doing the best he could with the skills he had
He took care of his family and pulled us
Out of poverty and on to a path where I claimed
The first college degree in my family
That was the best he could do but he never
Beat the rage within himself

Then I shook the dust off my mom’s darker side
Constantly berated and told I was lazy
I was selfish I couldn’t think of anyone but myself
Why wasn’t dinner ready for the family
I was never enough and told I didn’t care
Then this Christmas I was told she had left us
For months when I was still quite young

She did the best she could with
The skills she had but
She had so few skills for success
But mad skills for survival

Now I know why I acted out until they died
I forgot that the two people charged with
Making sure I was safe had done
Everything in their skill set to do the best for me
They had also given me their demons

I have spent a lifetime in ignorant bliss
Praising my childhood, blaming bad things on my brothers
Yet always wondering why I had a non-specific pissed off
Why I hooked up with drunks, got kicked out of school
Hung with the wrong people and acted out
Seeing finally that never in all honesty have I loved me
Or known how

Now I put the demons to rest as I stare them down
I thank my parents for doing their best
And Oprah for letting me judge her
Finally I thank myself for the will to love that little girl
Wrap myself in the knowledge that I absolutely deserved to be loved
I do it when I tackle the question
How could anyone forget?